Of crystal balls and fishbowls
by Ripliancum
Summary: the Trio decide to play a little joke on Trelawney
1. Chapter 1

Synopsis: the Trio decide to play a little joke on Professor Trelawney

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any other names, or any place from JKR's books. I am an amateur, meaning I am receiving no money for this work. Please do not attack me, but reviews are always welcome.

"Why can't that woman find someone else?" asked a very disgruntled Harry.

"Bang out of order, Trelawney was." agreed Ron. "How many ways are you going to die now?"

"Counting the newt attack, that makes two hundred seventy four." said Harry, mentally tallying it in his head.

Well mate, at least you've got lots of options." replied Ron. "Hi Hermione!"

Hermione had just come around the corner, carrying her usual four books. In her hand was a piece of parchment with what Harry recognized as McGonagall's handwriting on it.

"She just agreed." explained Hermione. "McGonagall gave me permission to study Theory of Spells and Incantations. I've wanted to learn how spells are created."

"Good." said Ron. "Maybe you'll be able to charm a vision into those stupid crystal balls. I'm running out of ideas."

Harry had been walking silently with them, brooding, but suddenly let out a low chuckle.

"What's so funny Harry?" asked Ron. "You must be running out of catastrophes to feed that overgrown bat too."

"It's not that, Ron. I just realized that we may be able to charm a prediction out of the orb." said Harry. "Haven't you noticed how much a crystal ball looks like a fish bowl? Trelawney hasn't predicted an aquatic death in a long time. I could let her see me getting eaten by a goldfish."

"Yeah! It would prove she's really an old fraud." exclaimed Hermione.

"I'm sure you could use your new class to find out just the right jinx, Hermione." agreed Ron.

"I dunno if I'm good enough yet. Maybe…" Hermione started.

"You've never failed us." Harry interrupted. "Will you try."

"All right, I'll do it." said a reluctant Hermione.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Accio crystal ball_" whispered Harry. He and Ron had snuck up to the North Tower right after Saturday breakfast. They had arrived to find Trelawney asleep on two of her own poufs.

"Think her Inner Eye saw this coming?" mocked Ron as the orb flew to Harry's fingers.

"Probably not." snickered Harry. "My guess is those fumes knocked her out. Even she can't stand it for too long."

They met Hermione on the seventh floor. She had already opened the Room of Requirements for them.

"Ok Hermione, what did you learn today?" asked Ron.

"It's rather easy, actually." answered Hermione. "Any one spell is the direct combination of smaller spell parts. There is an action and direction component to a spell.

"For example…" queried Harry.

"The Full Body Bind." Replied Hermione promptly. "Petrificus is the action. Totalus directs how much of the body is to be frozen.

"Oh, so all we need is the action for 'fill' and _aguamenti_ for water?" tried Ron.

"Something like that." answered Hermione

A slow grin was developing on Harry's face. "This just might work."

"Let's try it!" Ron said excitedly "_Inserti Augamenti_!" With a wave of his wand, Ron turned the crystal ball into a puddle.

"I'd think," grinned a half-amused Hermione, "that our first ever Charms class would have taught you that the wand action must meet the desired effect."

Ron and Harry exchanged a brief guilty look between them. They had been rather prone to make fun of Hermione before their first Halloween together. Their first Charms lesson had been a memorable one. Ron had swished at a paperclip, turning it into a garden hose instead of a quill. Professor Flitwick had used Ron's mistake to show the class the difference between a flick and a swish.

"I think," continued Hermione, "that we're looking more for a jabbing motion."

"Oh," said Harry. "So it's more like _Augamens Fillius._" Harry jabbed his wand, and a shallow basin of water appeared in the table. However, since they'd only stolen one orb, he couldn't test his theory. They left the Room of Requirements excited.


	3. Chapter 3

"Well," scoffed Ron, "This is the first time I've been glad to have homework. Imagine Trelawney letting us 'borrow' two crystal balls so we can make up even more stuff."

"Yeah!" laughed Harry. "My first prediction will be 'People with silly glasses are about to have pranks pulled on them.' Think she gives extra credit if a prediction comes true?"

"Naw, she probably fails them." answered Ron. "She only likes it when her own predictions come true. Let's head to the Room of Requirements."

They arrived on the seventh floor ten minutes later. After thinking "I need a place to hide magic from teachers," they started thinking of words that could fill a crystal ball.

"_Insertius Augamens_!" cried Ron, jabbing his wand at his orb. Water began condensing on the ball's surface, encasing it in a shell of water. It began swelling to the size of a beach ball, and enlarged water droplet. Harry uttered "_Finite_" and it broke, cascading water everywhere. Ron grabbed the crystal ball just before it hit the table. The other rolled off the table. It stopped, however, inches from the floor.

"You know," Hermione said, closing eh door behind her, "If you break many more of those, someone's going to notice. I've been trying to find a simple solution to our problem, and I think I've found it.

She charmed the orb onto the table and walked over. A carefully placed Severing Charm created a small hole in the top. A thin tendril of fog snaked out an dissipated into the air.

"Brilliant Hermione!" exclaimed Ron. "May I do the honors?" With a slight bow and a cry of "_Auguamenti_!" the orb started to fill.

Hermione pulled a small bag from her robes. Inside were two goldfish.

"You mentioned goldfish, Harry." Hermione explained apologetically. "Peeves was throwing these at girls by the lake. I 'borrowed' them before Filch showed up."

With a splash and a cry of "_Reparo_" Hermione sealed the fish in the crystal ball.


	4. Chapter 4

Monday afternoon, Harry and Ron grabbed the two crystal balls. As they headed up the North Tower, they debated who would see the fish in the altered orb.

"Come on, Harry," pleaded Ron. "We know that she's going to predict your death. We'd get something more interesting if I had it."

"It was my idea, though." replied Harry.

"Harry." started Ron.

"Oh all right." conceded Harry. "Maybe we'd get more of a laugh over something original."

They entered Trelawney's classroom minutes later, just as class began.

"If you would be so kind as to pass in your homework, we shall journey together into the realms of the Beyond." Trelawney said wistfully. Harry only paid attention because he didn't want to miss the fun.

Trelawney, as usual, went around the class, watching as they tried to see anything in the crystal balls.

"Professor," called Ron in an excited state. "There's something here." He glanced at Harry, who could tell by the look on Ron's face that he two was close to laughter.

"What do you see, boy?" said Trelawney.

"I see," Ron said in a dramatically wistful voice, "a fish, with bright golden scales."

"Ah, boy, this is a happy omen." replied Trelawney with a small smile.

"What does it mean?" asked Ron. There was a slightly disappointed tone to his voice. He looked slightly confused.

"Do you not know the meaning of the fish?" Trelawney started. "You will fall in love with a woman. Not just any woman, a woman of incredible intelligence. She is a determined girl whose inspiration will make you truly happy."

Harry was shaking with laughter, not just from the modified crystal ball, but from Trelawney's prediction. The fact of the matter was there was such a girl.

Harry's euphoria was enough to get him through Umbridge's class. Ron also had a cheerful disposition through Chapter 16, _Avoiding Defensive Situations_.

After class, Harry presented his theory to Ron.

"Trelawney's a fraud, all right, but did you notice who she was describing?" said Harry.

Ron frowned, then answered, "Yeah, Hermione. It kinda made me think of our third year, when all her little predictions came true."

"Ron," Harry exclaimed. "You saw Hermione put those fish in there. You can't be taking this seriously, can you?"

"Yeah!" replied Ron. "Silly of me. Let's just forget it."

Harry ate dinner in silence, his suspicions whirling around his head.

That's the story. I'll probably add a Chapter 5 just to close it up better, though.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I'm going with Ron's perspective in this chapter. Thoughts are italics to differentiate them from spoken words. Please R&R

* * *

Ron couldn't get it out of his head. He accepted that Trelawney took fortune telling to an almost comical level, but he had to admit that she had made some true predictions.

"_Neville's teapot, Lavender's bunny, Hermione walking out." _he thought. "_This is too convenient to be true. Not to mention the two actual prophecies."_

The truth was, as much as he tried to deny it, Hermione was attractive. It hadn't really struck him until the Yule Ball. Something had changed as he watched her glide across the dance floor with Krum. She was so, so beautiful, so graceful.

"Mr. Weasley, would you mind telling me how you managed to let your potion simmer for ten extra minutes?" Snape enunciated the last three words maliciously.

"S-Sorry Professor," stammered Ron, "I was just…"

"…drooling, I know." cut in Snape. "Unfortunately human saliva is not a potion ingredient for anything you will brew in my class."

Ron could feel his ear tips turn red; He was sure Snape knew exactly what he was thinking. Harry had told him all about his failed Occlumancy lessons, and Ron had no practice at all. It didn't help that Malfoy started his usual laughter across the room.

"Ron, I know that you're horrible at potions, but that was an all-time low for you." Hermione said after class. "What were you thinking so hard about?"

"He's just thinking about how to ask a certain girl out." Harry supplied slyly.

"Ooh, Ron! Who is it?" Hermione asked. "Is it one of the Patil twins?"

Ron began to become very flustered. "I-I'll tell you after class, maybe."

After class, Hermione continued to bombard Ron with the names of different girls at Hogwarts, going as far as asking about Moaning Myrtle before Ron cut her off.

"Hermione, I don't want to tell who it is or why I like her, because you'd probably laugh at me."

She gave him an unnerving look of understanding. Ron wondered if he'd been a little too obvious in his answer.

Hermione was about to reply when Harry cut her off. "I'm sure Ron will tell you when he's good and ready, Hermione."

Ron silently thanked Harry as the three of them walked the corridor on their way to dinner. "_After all," _thought Ron, _"I can always tell her later."_

Sorry it took me so long. Unlike my plotbunnies, I did not want this story to go over 5 chapters. They put up a terrific battle, but I was victorious in the end. As always, R&R

* * *


End file.
